As a Senior Executive Coach I often find that marketing "Ones Self" is an insurmountable challenge for most clients. This does not have to be true for you!
Learning to market yourself comfortably will go a long way in your life, whether you are marketing yourself for a new career, a promotion in your current place of business or to sell your business services. Today's publication addresses one of several key components to successful self-marketing:
"Overcoming the Ages Old Fear of Rejection and how to Respond to the Negative Voices in Your Mind when You Put Your Talents on the Line and They Are Being Rejected!"
What is real? At this moment you have certain talents and abilities, hopes and dreams, needs and values. You have family and friends who care about you. You accomplished great things in life; be it your academic track record, your employment history, your ability to be a leader, a team player, a parent and partner, a mentor or business owner and entrepreneur.
The concrete evidence of your existence thus far proves that you are capable of tackling the world and what life has handed you, so wouldn't you agree that you can be proud of who you have become?
Now take one small action such as opening a letter saying you were not selected for the job you applied for. You did not get that promotion you expected, your business proposal was rejected or you lost an important customer. What happens? The air is knocked out of you and suddenly that lead feeling in your gut is taking over. The act of reading one letter has changed your self-perception into "I am not good enough"!
In reality you are still the same capable, talented and extraordinary person. What has changed is simply your attitude. You allowed yourself to take the rejection personally. Suddenly your internal dialog is about you not being good enough, when moments before you were just fine. You have given your power away because of someone else’s action.
Fact is that another person had a stronger set of tools for this particular situation, or perhaps there was a personal contact that was selected or the person making the decision had a bad day ... we will never know... so let's get over it and strengthen our confidence.
We meet rejections every day, whether it is of our dreams, of a new job, a promotion or a sale we have endeavored to close. So here are 3 simple rules to remember when facing any kind of rejection:
1. Don’t take rejection personally
2. Use rejection as a learning tool
3. Change your internal dialog and move on to the next challenge
Don’t take Rejection Personally!
It is rarely about us, even though our egos try to tell us so!
Our minds are most creative and energetic - and if left alone - are masters at the negative. Replace your "Pity Committee" with a sensible group of voices which include: your Intuition, your Heart, your Intelligence, your Curiosity, your Courage, your Passion, your Spirit and your Experience.
Use Rejection as a Learning Tool
Your new "Success Committee" will help you deal with rejections as a learning tool!
Ask questions when you receive a NO. What did not meet your needs? What was missing so I might improve? Rarely is a person reluctant to help another improve. Then set up an appropriate action plan to carry out what you have discovered. Choose to learn from the rejection and move on to the next with a greater arsenal of tools for your future success.
Change your Internal Dialog and move on to the next Challenge
Establish a solid awareness that negative feelings caused by rejections are the result of your internal dialog going down the wrong path!
Create a plan of action how to stop talking yourself down and implement a healthy internal dialog instead. Establish a new set of thoughts and habits that support you well.
To Your Ongoing Success!
Regina Erhart Fasold
International Executive Coach
Phone: 1 321.246.7066